My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
