yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize