Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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