Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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