We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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