I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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