you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
