You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
