Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
