yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
