Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize