lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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