that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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