Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
