But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
