The best revenge is premature balding
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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