so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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