Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
