Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
