I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
