i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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