New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
