Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
