It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
