I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
