I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
