I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
