Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
