i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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