A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
