It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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