We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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