Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
