Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
