I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
