I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
