we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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