I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
