if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
