Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize