im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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