I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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