If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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