i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
