he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
