Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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