So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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