i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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