This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize