Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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