Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize