Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
