You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize