My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
