I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
