letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
