her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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