they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
