i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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